What “Big Plate" Doesn't Want YOU To Know...

Have you noticed that there hasn’t been any real innovation in the plate market for years? When it comes to design, plates only slightly vary in size. Even cups come in different shapes and sizes. There are cups, wine glasses, mugs, pints and so on. It makes you wonder, why hasn’t there been a breakthrough in innovation of plates over the past several hundred years? The truth is, there has. You wouldn’t know this because Big Plate has monopolized the plate market with powerful elites for centuries.

In 1877, a Dutch scientist and philosopher Heinrik Van Sleeben had been working for 20 years developing a plate that would revolutionize the way we eat & drink. It would quite simply change the way we think about plates and the way we socialize with each other forever. Nothing would disrupt the billion-dollar plate industry more abruptly.

Just as he was about to release his invention to the world, he mysteriously died at 32 years old. Unfortunately for the world it seemed that his ideas, inventions, and dreams for humanity died with him. Big Plate could continue on with business as usual…

That is until a group of historians were able to dig up a lost file that slipped through the annals of History and the hands of Big Plate. Together we found Heinrik’s original drawing of the prototype with all the correct dimensions.

Thankfully, with modern technology we were able to 3D print and produce the groundbreaking vision that Heinrik Van Sleeben had for the world. We have been pressured, bribed, and bullied by the elites that run Big Plate. Big Plate can’t comprehend that that the truth, love, and the future of humanity are far more important than any amount of money. 

So without further ado, we introduce to you the first ethnic & gender ambiguous Assplate that comes with a Signature Sauce Plug that plugs directly into the butthole. The butthole by itself holds 2 ounces so that shots can be taken directly Ass to Mouth. The ambiguousness of both the gender & ethnicity, symbolizes our unity as one human race. A concept so contrary to Big Plate’s attempt to separate us and divide us. Thank you for your courage, humility, and vision Heinrik. Move over Big Plate, there is a new plate in town.

All proceeds of the Assplate will be going to Heinrik’s great great great granddaughter, Hailey Bieber.